Peripheral Ponderings

 

We live in the country, but within a short distance are coffeehouses, shops, restaurants, a library and theatre.  As I walk the sidewalks and down the hill into the village, my solitary life becomes participation in a panorama.  There are people cutting grass, shingling rooftops, walking dogs, hammering on construction projects, smiling a greeting.

These beautiful fall days seem to beg gathering up and  I want to savour them as if they were crisp harvest apples.  The leaf canopy has exploded in vivid colour and I’m scuffling through leaves on my walk.  New vistas appear teasingly over the lake as the trees bare their branches.

 

A colourful life is a kind of euphemism for saying that perhaps the colouring was done outside the parameters of polite society.  But as we age along with family and friends, we are constantly reminded that our life under the sun is so fragile, our time so limited.  We hunger for riotous colours, see them in the plants and the animals and in odd-looking creatures lurking deep in the oceans.

Truly all of us have the opportunity to live a colourful life.  We just need to open our eyes to the multi-hued world around us, open our imagination to the worlds inside of us.  To stop rushing blindly on, and to celebrate the gifts of our Creator.

 

Working in the Apple Orchard

Autumn and the fulfillment fruit
Of blossoms’ beauty back in May
Clothes discarded on limbs of trees as
Chilly morning warms to the day.

Strapping on a basket
Reaching among the branches laden
To pluck the ripe red apples there
Cradled gently in their haven.

In autumn sunshine, the warmth
Beams on my upturned face.
A tiny owl stares unblinkingly
From its dark recess, a hidden place.

And I am filled with gratitude
Happy in the time spent there.
For all too soon the cold winds blow.
I breathe the purest, freshest air.

Isaiah 43:2
 When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Awhile ago, my sister compiled a family history, which included a list of more than a few times when we’ve come through the flames.  From my grandfather, found badly hurt on his driveway after a household fire, to my father whose hair never grew back to its original wave after a bakery oven explosion,  to my uncle who set fire to his kitchen frying croquettes in oil one Christmas Eve, to my son who ended up looking like a scorched comic character after attempting to light his ancient gas furnace.  Amazingly, miraculously, each one survived these encounters.

These are only a few examples, and only the outer incidents.  There are times in my life when the anger has raged hot in my life as well, threatening to set ablaze everything in its path.  And, like a forest fire, it seems to leave only devastation in its wake. a charred landscape.    No one likes to feel this way, and it’s physically very hard on a body.  But anger does have its place.

Fire has an aspect of purification, of burning away much of the chaff, of sending anything that doesn’t belong to the surface to be skimmed away.  Sometimes the anger is a necessary precursor, a gathering of energy to fight injustice, to provide impetus for action.  The trick is to keep it from getting out of control.

In the Old Testament story, Daniel’s three friends survived the fiery furnace because they were not alone.  There was someone with them, “like the son of the gods.”   When life’s searing experiences seem to destroy everything you hold dear, it’s time to hold on to that thought.  In nature, everything is part of a life cycle, and God, nature’s Creator, does not waste anything either.  As we trust in His allowing of these experiences, we come to sense His reassuring presence, to trust that He will set things right someday.

One of the gifts of living a long life is the opportunity to look back and see how what was truly valuable came to light in times of testing and trial.  To realize who was a faithful friend, to realize that people matter far more than objects and status and pride.

Months after a blaze, new growth appears on the forest floor, rising Phoenix-like out of the ashes.  The old has been scorched away, and light can reach the tender young saplings that are sending down roots in the now enriched soil. And so a new landscape emerges, a new celebration of life.

“What is to give light must endure burning.”   Viktor Frankl

 

 

We had only been away for about five days, but in the damp September air, conditions proved perfect for our backyard spider to spin an elaborate web to trap unwary late-summer insects.

Because of the woods and the moisture of the nearby lake, nature’s growth thrives here.  We keep a constant vigilance to make sure it doesn’t take over our little bit of civilization. The shoot of a young sapling can spring up to knee-size in our garden within a few weeks.   It may be an odd thought, but it seems that even hair grows faster in this setting (although admittedly, the nearby village still has its share of bald pates, so this is an untested theory).

Our humble arachnid is named after the Greek woman who so flaunted her weaving skills she was punished by the goddess Athena.  There is such near-perfection in the web’s design, it’s understandable that it provokes jealousy.

The web is beautiful, but it can be easily destroyed.   It’s like the fragile interconnectedness which links all of us, the silvery web-strands of virtual connections we now take for granted as part of our world.  It’s so amazing and powerful and beautiful that we can easily become like Arachne who, with hubris, challenges Divinity.

The Legend of the Spider and the Silken Thread Held in God’s Hand

There’s an old Danish Legend with a lesson for us all
Of an ambitious spider and his rise and fall,
Who wove his sheer web with intricate care
As it hung suspended somewhere in midair,
Then in soft, idle luxury he feasted each day
On the small foolish insects he enticed as his prey.

Growing ever more arrogant and smug all the while
He lived like a ‘king’ in self-satisfied style –
And gazing one day at the sheer strand suspended
He said “I don’t need this” so he recklessly rended
The strand that had held his web in its place
And with sudden swiftness the web crumpled in space.

And that was the end of the spider who grew
So arrogantly proud that he no longer knew
That it was the strand that reached down from above
Like the cord of God’s grace and His infinite love
That links our lives to the great unknown.
For man cannot live or exist on his own.

And this old legend with simplicity told
Is a moral as true as the Legend is old.

Anonymous, found in an old Bible circa 1940

 

 

 

“Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love.”        I Corinthians 16:13-14

Our garden statue elicited a comment from the young children of friends when their family came to visit one weekend – “That’s Mr. and Mrs. Prins reading the Bible together!”

Over the 48 years of our marriage, Scripture reading has been part of almost every day.    Recently, coming across our wedding Bible, my husband pointed out the inscription of our chosen wedding text, and we looked at it with new eyes.   The officiating minister veered off to the theme of family trees (which would have been more appropriate for my sister’s wedding the following year: they dreamed of establishing a tree nursery.)  My bemused co-workers asked whether we would be having kids right away.  But we would have done well to have really meditated on its wisdom of that text instead, taking it to heart right from the start.

The wording in the wedding vows was also a little problematic, as I was appalled by an archaic use of the word obey in the wedding vows.  We were early in the era of women’s liberation, after all.  I pictured being dragged reluctantly into situations where I had little or no input on the decision-making.

On the condition that my soon-to-be husband would never take advantage, as he promised, I did agree to obey.  And, in truth, he never has.  As time went on, I began to understand that the word obey also carries a connotation of listening closely, being alert to tone and stress and nuance.  Being watchful, having faith, being strong for each other in tough times, having courage to face what sometimes seems like insurmountable obstacles in a relationship.  There’s wisdom in the text and in the vows we made that day.

In the naivete of youth, you don’t always understand that there are many forces that have the potential to tear a marriage apart, that constant vigilance is necessary to maintain the health of a relationship, that we had to work, individually and together, to keep the claims of extended family, parenting, church and career in their rightful places.

But God is faithful.  And God is good, even though we are not.  And, thankfully, it’s that Love that’s cradled this marriage, throughout the years.

 

 

Autumn always makes me feel nostalgic although its cooler temperatures also give new energy, and inspire new beginnings.  The school bus, on its way past our house, is the signal to call back the eternal student in me.  There are new worlds to discover, to marvel at.

It wasn’t always that way.  I’d stalled for time by taking Grade 13 credits.  At the end of the year, classrooms seemed to hem me in. There was a fair bit of anxiety about leaving home for an unknown campus.  I was eager to be on my way in a career, and jobs were plentiful.

So I settled.  A position at McMaster University meant a vicarious participation in the learning vibe. I typed manuscripts on my Selectric typewriter to earn a little money on the side, to save for our first house.  Courses were either free or discounted for staff, but I did not take advantage of that perk, to my later regret.

All the more sweeter, then, to come back after an hiatus of more than 15 years to King’s College in London.  The time away was not wasted – much had been accomplished in establishing our home, and our young family.  But now, with our youngest at the age of ten, it was finally my turn again!

There was a deeper resonance in my studies now –  I had met some of life’s difficulties, and so recognized the insights that glimmered in poetry and prose. Like a sponge, I eagerly soaked up everything – it was such a relief to know that the search for answers to life’s big questions was not as solitary as I’d feared.  They’d been asked for millennia.

In class, mature students participated with an enthusiasm sometimes incomprehensible to the younger students.   I in turn marveled at the wisdom of these young adults, the windows they opened onto their world views.  It made me feel young, though I was much further along the path than they were.

And, yes, yes, it’s off to college, not “collage.”  I know.  Spelling comes more naturally for someone who reads a lot of books.  Still, there’s a truth in it, because I have vivid impressions of campus scenes:  the Italian literature class Professor Dante Lenardon taught while we sprawled under a tree on the pleasant St. Peter’s Seminary grounds, or the professor advising the “suspension of belief” long enough to at least investigate strange-sounding ideas.  There was the reverential atmosphere in the hush of the small library,  and the intersession class on the Theology of Marriage, a group small enough to be invited to lunch at the home of the professor.

We reached across genres, in social work and science and philosophy and literature, one snapshot sometimes highlighting another, sometimes tacked incongruously side by side.

And in the collage of my memories, these scenes were illuminated by others who encouraged me:  the anonymous person who left the leather schoolbag at my door, those professors who taught with joy, the family who contributed financially along with the generous benefactor at King’s who donated the student bursary.

So, to all those who are off to “collage”: may you find those precious moments, make many good memories that will last a lifetime.  And take every opportunity to make learning lifelong.